Hog the Friend Pt 2: The Reply

Yeah. Ok. No I'm not going to apologise.


You never received our carefully planned, detailed itinerary,
because it never existed.


We're so incredibly, incredibly mean, baby eatin mean. You might
want to take the bugs out of your house. We even had a book called
movements of shirley where we could track where you were going to be
at all times, thanks to triangulation - using an implant we had our
alien friends insert in your brain. Who's a big mean man. Who's a
big mean man. I am. We also put sleeping pills in your food. And
used horoscopes in a negative way to coordinate our social events
with times you would not be able to socialise, we used suburban
fenshui, so our energies would go in opposite directions. And in
your absence we all had wild orgies, with beer and wine, and 5
cheese fondue, we built sculptures from chocolate, and walked on
rosepetals in rooms made of gold while trained monkeys bowed to our
every whim (and believe me - I mean "every" - those dirty little
monkeys). We had Seances with God, and we took the roof off our
house so we could sunbake inside and then we used a mobile weather
polarisation unit to keep the rain away. We're all so Goddam mean,
sometimes I want to kill those cats stuck in the trees in the last
segment of the news - I'm so mean. There were many many many players
in this conspiracy, I commend you for uncovering it.


Take some responsibilty for yourself.


Boris

Hog the Friend Pt 1

Boris, 


Im just writing to you because Im very frustrated at the situation whilst Brittany was here. 



Firstly, I understand that you two are much, much closer than her & I are or, you & I. I know that, and Im not going to try and change or challenge that fact because I think that the two of you have far much more in common... Which, I admit is a bit of a disappointment to me, but that's just how it is. 


However, I believe that Brittany is my friend too and Im really not sure how to deal with this situation. She has travelled over from Belgium to see Melbourne, see Australia and to see you and I hope me to some extent also. But I dont feel like this has happened over the past month or so that she has been here. I feel like that I found out by pure accident that she was visiting. You didnt even tell me, it was at the 11th hour that I happened to randomly speak to Brittany online that she mentioned it. I dont think thats through fault of anyone, but it still occurred. 


I have constantly asked what your movements were, when you had time and so forth and have made myself available the entire time. From going to the airport, to going out for dinner, to even taking Brittany on a trip to Warrnambool. Yes, you both had plans together, youd had the opportunity to organise time off work to take a holiday with her, for the fortune of yourself. I, unfortunately, did not and do not have the option to be taking time off work at this point. Regrettable really, but it's what the situation is at the moment. 


I fail to understand that of the six weeks she was here that there was not ONE evening that you could spare for me after the efforts that I made. I kept many evenings free, which I know you were fully aware of. There was 3 occasions where you told me maybe we could catch up. And each of those I was once again informed at the 11th hour, or just not informed at all. I feel that this is hardly fair. I have been nothing but flexible for the duration, and not one effort was made but Im unsure of whos at fault here. I dont really want to blame anyone in particular. The fact remains that you both had phones and you both had my phone number. 


Last night, after much discussion with you in the afternoon and a message to Brittany also. Once again a message at 10pm at night to come out later. Did you really think that I would be able to come along so late in the evening? Surely you could have spared an hour earlier on, its not really a lot to ask. I was willing to travel to you, and you knew that! 


For me, it seems as though I have missed out on spending time with a friend of mine because of your own immaturity and greediness and perhaps your desire to play hog the friend. 


Let me remind you, we are all adults in this situation and this is not a matter of jealousy on my behalf, but a feeling of regret that I have not had the time that I had hoped for. I understand its too late now and theres nothing that can be done so why send you this email you ask? I dont know. I just thought that you should be aware of the way that I felt and to perhaps stop this happening again when more of our friends come to visit, which they are in fact going to do. 
I am just disappointed and hurt by the situation and there really is no way that this can be now rectified at this late stage. 
I hardly expect a reply, and Id be kidding myself if I thought that Ill get an apology from you. Just making you aware of my feelings, thats all. 



Shirley

"i would also like my white boob tube back"

hello,

okay, do you want to know the thruth of what happened.
i saw Lydia at the bar and we chatted about her school, how i donbt really
see much of you guys anymore, the random with the drugs. THAT was it!
i dont know what you heard, or who you heard it from but as a firend you should
have approached me about it first withoout judging and screaming at me in the way you did. frankly i think that immature and childish of you and i thourght you had more sense than that.
and...how dare you bring Tiffany and Alma into this.

how dare you make me feel guilty!

i would just like to say on thihs note that i have supported you over the years and backed you up against others when things were down. i ignored ppl when they bitched about you and Glenda. well you know what.. maybe i should have listened to them. maybe everyone is right about
you!

youa re childish and i would rather have no firneds that to be friends with
you becasue you are agressive and selfish. 

on that note i would like my bond back in 1 week. next thursday. msg me if you want my bank details.

i would also like my white boob tube back


im sorry that this happened. i thourght we were friends,, but obviously the
day you kicked me out what the end of that.

Fanny

if Glenda is ignoring me aswell than that is silly, whatever happend she should talk to me about it!

Fanny never got a reply - god receiver, thats so selfish

Left on Car